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Buzz: Green Crack Flower Review

Greetings and salutations, folks!


Today, I'm reviewing a legendary strain I tried a while back called Green Crack, from one of Utah's very own cannabis brands, Buzz. The following are my unabridged notes and thoughts as I consumed this product. I must add that I tested and reviewed this strain almost a year ago (wow, I know), but the notes below are straight from that night.



Here we go!


The flower comes in a white Mylar bag. It's very nondescript and almost mysterious. Visually, it's not at all appealing, so it's very in-line with Utah marketing and display regulations, but it could improve if they included a little peep window to check out the flower. I tend to get suspicious of Mylar bags that have no view port...what are y'all hiding? Also, I don't want to squeeze the bag to try to figure out what the buds have going on. I need to at least see it if I can't smell it!


First impressions, the nugs smell like citrus. Wild citrus. More specifically bergamot, "the prince of citrus," and pine, which means it likely has a big fat dose of limonene and pinene terpenes - which are 2 of the most abundant and potent terpenes in cannabis. Also 2 of my favorites, generally separately though. This combo was dank.




I vaporized all of my flower using my classic Volcano on temperature setting 6.5, which translates to 385 degrees Fahrenheit or roughly 196 degrees Celsius. Utah is a no-flame state, so there was no combustion of flower in my home.


I filled all of 2 bags at the same temperature. That amount of bags is significant because I typically have between 8-12 bags just to get to a good place because my CRPS pain is so severe all the time, so 2 bags are a very note-worthy number of bags for me.




LET'S TALK FIRST-TIME FEELS


First time I had it, bag number 1, I noticed that it tastes like when you get ocean water in your nose.


Second time I rode the wave, it tasted like ocean. Like when you live close to the ocean and open your windows early morning and the ocean saltiness whispers into your room while the boats toot in the harbor or in the port.


Well, now I'm home sick.


Fucknuts, it's super heavy. I'm hella sleepy and slow. Like really, really slow. My tongue is sticking to the roof of my mouth, slow. On point with my typical sativa paradox.


Right now, I can sense my ears' fuzz existing. Just vibin'. My hearing always sharpens with sativa/daytime strains.


There's a soft and prickly feeling like zooming in on mushrooms.

I'm also feeling like I am traveling in slow motion. Digital, but in an 8-bit sort of way, pixelated and sedated.


Nerd-time thoughts: Full disclosure - I have paradoxical effect, which means that I have the opposite reaction than what's expected to cannabis and other things. So, to my paradoxical brain, this lead-like feeling indicates that it must be a very potent sativa/daytime strain. Seriously, no wonder people like this!!! If the usual feel is the exact opposite of this, that is, one of the most uplifting and crack-like cannabis feels, then it MUST be fire!






THE NEXT MORNING


I was out quickly last night. Lights out! I fell asleep...in the middle of eating a super chewy Rx protein bar. Down to the last 2 bites and I fell asleep chewing!!




I woke up to a granola bar stuck to my hair and sweater and a note that I wrote myself saying: "that shit slaps!"









(Image courtesy of @drgrlfrnd. Brand new Blueberry Rx protein bar.)






I noticed the granola bar when I woke up because it smacked me on the side of the face as it hung off my neck area.





(Image courtesy of @drgrlfrnd. Cute girl with protein bar stuck in hair)







I walked straight to the bathroom mirror and it looked like I lived a very different story than what I remembered up to that point.





So, I'm currently googling ways to take out this chunk of chewy shit out of my beautiful curls and I can't find a damn thing online, so I am going to finesse it out of my tresses by the magic that is my will. Apparently people don't generally gets sticky ass granola bars stuck to their hair. Good on you guys.






(Image of sticky protein bar removed from cute girl's hair.)








Check out the hair stuck to this once delicious treat!






(Image courtesy of @drgrlfrnd. Sticky protein bar with hair stuck to it.)



Verdict

Hilarious night adventures with sativas. Typical paradoxical Lucy shit.


I'm certainly going to be using this strain at night for sleep difficulty. I knocked out ridiculously fast. I found it to be great for surviving the chronic pain I live in, therefore, I would most definitely buy it again. The fact that I did something this funny is just glorious.


If you can get your hands on some Green Crack flower, more frequently called Green C in Utah because people are sensitive about the crack association, do yourself a favor and try it.


It's a fabulous daytime strain for those that have normal wiring, and a great nighttime sleepy time medicine for those who experience paradoxical effect, like myself.


**The italics writing is directly from the notes I wrote that night, long ago, for the sake of legitimacy.




Enjoy this picture of the Pacific Ocean taken during my last trip back home.


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